When communication is broken

Ilustrace je upraveným obrázkem z Wikipedie, heslo Transactional analysis.

The converse rule is that communication is broken off when a crossed transaction occurs. The most common crossed transaction and the one which causes and always has caused most of the social difficulties in the world, whether in marriage, love, friendship, or work is represented in Figure as Crossed Transaction Type I. This type of transaction is the principal concern of psychotherapists and is typified by the classical transference reaction of psychoanalysis. The stimulus is Adult-Adult: e.g., "Maybe we should find out why you've been drinking more lately," or, "Do you know where my cuff links are?" The appropriate Adult-Adult response in each case would be: "Maybe we should. I'd certainly like to know!" or, “On the desk.” If the respondent flares up, however, the responses will be something like "You're always criticizing me, just like my father did," or, "You always blame me for everything." These are both Child-Parent responses, and as the transactional diagram shows, the vectors cross. In such cases the Adult problems about drinking or cuff links must be suspended until the vectors can be realigned. This may take anywhere from several months in the drinking example to a few seconds in the case of cuff links. Either the agent must become Parental as a complement to the respondent's suddenly activated Child, or the respondent's Adult must be reactivated as a complement to the agent's Adult.

Eric Berne: Games People Play